Mastering the art of saying ‘No’ to protect your career and well-being: Psychologist

As the year draws to a close, professionals and leaders alike are faced with increasing pressure to meet deadlines, complete projects, and finalise commitments. For many, the workload is already at capacity, and adding extra tasks can quickly become overwhelming.

A recent survey revealed that 52% of Australian professionals believe their workload is so unmanageable they need to take a day off at least once a month. In response to such challenges, Safe Work Australia’s Model Work Health and Safety (WHS) Act underscores the need to address psychosocial hazards, including excessive workloads.

Starting in August next year, employees in Australia – even those in small businesses – will have the legal right to disconnect from work communications outside of hours, unless there is a compelling reason to stay connected.

Taking Control of Your Workload

“If your workload is already at capacity and you’re looking to advance your career, it’s crucial to recognise and avoid taking on too many non-promotable tasks,” said Professor Peter Heslin, a psychologist and expert on career management. “These duties – such as training new hires, taking meeting notes, or organising workplace events – may earn short-term appreciation but rarely contribute to career progression or salary growth.”

Effectively managing your workload requires a proactive approach—one that encompasses not just the workplace, but your personal time as well. Strategies for avoiding burnout include:

• Prioritising tasks using methods like the MoSCoW framework
• Exploring subtractive changes to simplify processes
• Delegating tasks where possible
• Making time for enriching recovery activities, such as engaging in sports, art, or music
• Learning to say “no” to non-essential requests or additional roles.

“Research shows that within professional firms, women are asked to take on about 200 more hours of non-promotable tasks each year than their male counterparts in similar roles. This imbalance, however, is not driven by gender differences in preferences, attitudes, or abilities. Rather, it reflects a workplace culture where women are more often expected to say “yes” to such tasks,” Professor Heslin stated.

However, this dynamic extends beyond the workplace, affecting both men and women. It can be difficult for anyone to say “no” to requests to “step up,” whether from family members, community organisations, or social clubs.

Why “No” Can Be the Hardest Word

There are several reasons people may hesitate to decline requests, even when it’s not in their best interest. Some of these reasons include:

• The desire for affirmation and praise from others
• A wish to uphold an image of reliability and cooperativeness
• Overestimating the importance of a request or feeling manipulated by the requester
• Perceived pressure to demonstrate loyalty or commitment
• Cultural and societal norms, especially for women and juniors, that emphasise accommodation and agreeability
• Fear of letting others down or disappointing them
• The fear of missing out (FOMO) on future opportunities
• A heightened sensitivity to others’ needs or struggles
• Lack of clarity about personal priorities
• Uncertainty about how to set boundaries without provoking confrontation.

Identifying the personal barriers that prevent you from saying “no” is a crucial first step. Once you understand these barriers, you can implement strategies to decline requests in a confident, tactful manner.

Wise Ways to Say “No”

Here are some strategies, drawn from research and decades of experience in career development workshops, to help navigate these challenging moments:

The Risks of Saying “No” Too Often

While saying “no” can protect your time and energy, overusing this tactic can have its own drawbacks. Some potential downsides include:

• Helping others can open doors to new opportunities and build goodwill. As Zig Ziglar famously said, “You can get anything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.”
• Saying “yes” can help cultivate stronger relationships and strengthen your community through shared experiences.
• Being known as a helpful, dependable colleague or friend can be a source of personal pride and fulfillment.

Professor Heslin cautioned, “Life is a near-endless stream of opportunities to step up or step aside. People who attempt to do everything do nothing well and soon become burned out – with little to show for their Herculean efforts. Wise real-time prioritisation – balancing your goals against others’ agendas at work and during the forthcoming holidays – will shape how you spend each moment and ultimately define your career and life.”

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